Names for a submissive, and how a Mistress chooses them

A name is the smallest ritual in femdom and one of the most effective. Hearing yourself called something other than your everyday name marks a threshold: the person who answers to it is the one who kneels and serves, while the one with the job and the inbox stays outside. Names carry tone as well. Sub is neutral and almost businesslike, a pet name is warm, and a diminishing name is stern and enjoyed by those who asked for it. The right register matters more than a clever choice, and since the choice belongs to both of you, agreement runs through everything below.

Role names say what you are to Her, and they are the plainest family to agree. The BDSM roles guide explains where each one sits in the wider picture, the femdom glossary defines the rest of the vocabulary, and the short versions run like this:

• Sub or submissive: the neutral choice, accurate for almost anyone and a sound starting point while a name is still being settled.
• Servant: stresses usefulness and manners, and suits household service, errands and chores kept to a standard.
• Slave: a deeper, more formal role with stricter protocol, chosen by you and ended by you; the sub or slave guide compares the two.
• Toy or plaything: objectifying on purpose, and only for those who have said yes to being spoken of that way.
• Pet: a role name that opens the door to the pet names in the next section.

Pet names are personas, not species. When a Mistress calls you Her pup, Her kitten or Her pony, two adults are playing a game of ownership, with a collar, a few commands and plenty of praise. No animal is involved in any way, and nothing about the name suggests anyone below adulthood.

Choose the persona that suits your temperament. A pup is eager and loyal, a kitten is aloof and has to be won over, and a pony is proud and carries himself with discipline. The pet play page describes the personas, and pony play covers the more upright version. Leave out any name that suggests an age below adulthood or a family role, even if it is offered as a joke, and if the persona comes with a collar, the two-finger rule on the collar and leash page applies without exception.

These two families sit at opposite ends of one scale, and a Mistress often uses both in a single session. Affectionate names reward you: my pet, treasure, dear one, good servant. Diminishing names put you in your place: fool, wretch, nuisance, pest. Neither is cruelty when it is agreed, and both lose their charge when they arrive without warning.

Diminishing names belong to humiliation play, so they follow its rules: agreed words, agreed topics and a stop that works. Refuse any name built on your body, your health, your family, your ethnicity or your real job, and any name that mocks something you are truly ashamed of. The humiliation cams page shows how verbal play is handled by the Mistresses who specialise in it.

A chosen name is one you pick, or She picks from your shortlist, to use in place of your own. Online it does real work, because it keeps your real name out of messages, reports and chat. Use the handle you play under, and treat any request for your surname, address or employer as a warning.

Some Mistresses prefer numbers or initials, such as Number Four or S-7, especially when they keep several submissives, and the effect is brisk and impersonal in a way many subs enjoy. In sissy training and maid play She often assigns a feminine name for messages and reports. Agree one that sounds like a grown woman's name and keep it formal rather than cute, Rosalind or Henrietta rather than a nickname; sissy training shows where the name fits in a programme.

Treat a name like any other part of the dynamic: ask, agree, try, review. A one-way private has no chat box, so She cannot hear whether a name pleases you, and everything has to be settled in advance; She can still say it aloud to the lens. A sensible order is:

1. Sort possible names into three groups: ones you would welcome, ones you would only tolerate and ones you refuse. The longer list on the limits list page has a line for pet names and another for demeaning ones.
2. Send the three groups to Her in a short message before any private. Messages carry text only, so type them out.
3. Let Her choose from what you offered, or propose something of Her own and wait for your yes.
4. Try the name for one session or one week, and notice how it lands.
5. Say so, once, if it does not suit you. Dropping a name needs no reason and carries no penalty.

Naming runs one way. She gives you a name, and Her title is not yours to invent: use the one on Her profile, Mistress where it says nothing, and capitalise She and Her in everything you write. Do not coin pet names for Her, however fond you feel, because familiarity is the footing She has not offered. The guide to addressing a Mistress covers titles, and the dominatrix names guide explains how Mistresses choose names of their own.

Public rooms, most of them free to enter, have a text chat that reaches Her and everyone else watching, so use your handle there and keep pet names for a message or a private. In a private with one of our own Mistresses She can say your chosen name aloud, but your camera and microphone are off and there is no chat box, so She cannot hear you answer to it. Two-way contact exists only in LiveJasmin partner rooms marked ↗, where cam2cam is a paid extra bought in credits on that site.