Your BDSM limits list: yes, no, maybe and hard limits

The idea comes from sex education: instead of guessing what a partner wants, each person works through a list of activities and marks an honest answer beside every one. In BDSM the list does a second job. It gives a dominant partner a map of where she may lead and where she must never go, so the scene can feel spontaneous without being careless.

The checklist on this page is built for femdom and grouped into five parts: dynamics, body and clothing, control, sensation and restraint, and money and exposure. Tap Yes, Maybe, No or Hard limit beside each line, then print it or keep it for later. Your answers are stored only in this browser, so clearing your browser data clears them too.

A hard limit is a line you will not cross in any mood, for any Mistress, at any price. It needs no explanation. Examples people commonly list include being seen on camera, sharing photos, financial domination, pain play, particular words they never want used, or any mention of their real name.

A soft limit is something you are unsure about: a maybe that needs trust, a gentle start or particular conditions. Examples include verbal humiliation on some topics but not others, a short period in a chastity device but not a long one, or tributes within a strict budget. A soft limit is still a limit, and it only moves when you decide it should.

• Hard limit: "No cam2cam, ever."
• Soft limit: "Humiliation is fine, but nothing about my job."
• Soft limit: "Tributes are fine up to my monthly budget, and never beyond it."
• Hard limit: "Nothing that marks the skin."

Answer for yourself on an ordinary day, not in the heat of a fantasy. Arousal makes almost everything look like a yes, and a list written in that state can promise more than you actually want. If you hesitate over a line, mark it maybe; if you feel a jolt of refusal, mark it no or hard limit and move on.

Be specific where it matters. A maybe beside spanking tells Her little; a note that you would try light spanking with your own hand, briefly, as a first try tells Her a great deal. And be honest about what excites you as well as what does not, because a list full of refusals and no yeses gives Her nothing to work with.

Send it before private time starts, not halfway through. A short written message works best: your yeses, your hard limits, your safeword, anything medical, and the one or two things you most hope for. Photos cannot be attached to messages on DominatrixCam, so type your answers out rather than sending a picture of the printout.

Remember how the session works. With our own Mistresses private sessions are one-way: She cannot see or hear you, so any line on your list about being watched only applies in LiveJasmin partner rooms, where cam2cam is a paid extra. Read Her profile too; Her own limits matter as much as yours, and a scene only happens where the two overlap.

Limits are not a test you pass once. A maybe can become a yes after a good experience, and a yes can become a no after a bad one or simply because your life has changed. Revisit the list regularly, tell Her when something moves, and never let anyone treat an old answer as a permanent promise. A limit can always be added back, even in the middle of a scene.

A safeword stops a scene immediately, and online it has to reach Her in a form She can receive. A one-way session has no chat box, so there the stop is ending the session yourself, which is always your right and takes one tap. Traffic-light words work well for longer scenes. The BDSM safety guide covers safewords, solo bondage and aftercare in full.

For a fuller conversation, copy the lines below onto paper and mark each Y, N, M or H. They extend the interactive checklist with more of what femdom sessions commonly include; the femdom glossary explains any term you do not recognise.

• Titles and address: calling Her Mistress or Goddess; being given a pet name; being called by a demeaning name; kneeling or posture instructions.
• Verbal play: teasing; strict commands; degrading language; SPH; humiliation about clothing or appearance; praise and reassurance.
• Worship: foot worship; boot worship; heel worship; kissing Her image; writing lines of devotion; goddess worship rituals.
• Clothing and fetish materials: nylons; latex; leather; corsets; wearing lingerie She chooses; sissification; makeup under instruction.
• Pleasure and control: tease and denial; ruined orgasms; JOI; countdowns; being told to stop; chastity for a session; longer chastity with a keyholder.
• Sensation: light spanking; clamps; CBT at a low level; ice or temperature play; wax play with low-temperature candles; impact with a paddle.
• Restraint: wrist cuffs you can release yourself; blindfolds; positional bondage; rope, only with safety shears within reach.
• Toys: plugs; a strap-on used on you by a partner; pegging; vibrators under Her control.
• Tasks: daily check-ins; chores; exercise tasks; writing tasks; wearing an item during the day where nobody else is involved.
• Money: one-off tributes; regular tribute; wishlist gifts; financial domination; drains within a fixed budget.
• Exposure and privacy: showing your face on cam2cam in partner rooms; being heard on two-way audio; being recorded (never allowed without consent); using your real first name.
• Roleplay: boss and employee; strict landlady; nurse and patient; interrogation scenes; cuckold scenes.