Chastity rules: the written terms of a lock-up

A chastity device on its own is only an object. What turns it into keyholding is the set of terms around it: who decides when it opens, what you do while it is closed, and what both of you will do when something goes wrong. Chastity rules put those terms on one page, so that neither of you relies on memory or mood on the tenth day of a lock.

Written rules protect the wearer at least as much as they restrain him, and they give a Mistress something firm to be strict about: She holds you to the terms you both chose, not to Her mood or yours.

Write the term as a number of days with dates at both ends, never as 'until She decides'. An open-ended lock suits only a wearer who already knows, from long experience, how his skin behaves in a device.

Keep a first term short, with a review at the end, and let later terms ask for more. Nobody can name a length that suits every body, so the chastity cage safety guide puts fit, skin checks and warning signs ahead of any figure, and the number in your rules is a ceiling that your body may overrule.

Say whether the term means continuous wear or set hours, because a rule set that leaves it open will be argued over.

A hygiene unlock is a scheduled break in the lock for washing, drying and looking at your skin. It is not a reward or a test, and a rule set without one is unfinished.

Agree how often the device comes off, who picks the day, how long you have and what is allowed meanwhile: washing, drying and a skin check, nothing else, with the device back on inside the time you wrote down. A keyholder who makes the unlock itself a trial has turned a safety rule into a game. If you find marks, soreness or broken skin while the device is off, it stays off until the skin has recovered, and your next report says so.

She cannot see your device, because a private with one of our own Mistresses runs one way and messages to Her carry text only. Your check-in is therefore a written report, and your honesty is the proof. No photograph, video or file can be sent, so a rule that asks for one cannot be kept here.

Fix the shape of the report so that it takes five minutes: the day count, the date of your last hygiene unlock, the state of your skin, tasks done and missed, any rule you broke and how the week felt, with whatever went wrong at the top. Weekly at a set hour suits a long term.

Conduct rules say what you do and never do while locked, so keep them few and checkable in writing; the sample list below shows the kind. No task may ever ask you to keep the device on through a warning sign. The femdom rules guide has more standing rules, and the femdom tasks guide covers assignments.

Most rule sets muddle two decisions that deserve separate rules: when the device comes off for good, and whether orgasm is allowed when it does. For the second, the options are the endings described on the tease and denial page: permission, a ruined finish or continued denial. Write down which applies, or that She decides on the day and you accept it; a cum countdown is one way to stage the moment. The first decision can play out in four ways:

• On the date: the term runs out on the day written down.
• Early, by earning it: tasks done and reports kept, or a tally of days reached before the date.
• Inside a window: She picks the day between two dates you both know, such as day ten and day fourteen, so there is suspense without an open end.
• Later, as a penalty: a broken rule adds days, with the number per breach and a ceiling written in advance.

Every rule set needs a clause that cannot be argued with. You may unlock at any moment, without asking first and without penalty, for numbness, pain that does not stop when you adjust the device, a change of colour, swelling, coldness or broken skin. Tell the keyholder afterwards, in writing.

The key for this clause must be yours. Keep a spare in a sealed envelope where you can reach it in seconds, or wear a device that you or a medic could cut off quickly, and never lock your only key behind a timer, a courier or another person.

A keyholder who punishes a safety unlock, or tells you to wait it out, is breaking the rule that all the others rest on, and a good Mistress writes this clause Herself. A device that will not come off, or swelling that does not settle once it has, calls for a doctor rather than a wait until your next check-in. This page is general information, not medical advice.

Here is a first-term list to adapt. The numbers are examples, so change them to suit your body, your week and the Mistress you serve, and let the safety guide's advice on daily washing and skin checks come first.

• Term: seven days from the evening the lock closes, then a review before anything is extended.
• Wear: day and night, except for hygiene unlocks and any night on which you cannot sleep in the device.
• Hygiene: wash and dry the device and yourself daily; take it off on days two, four and six for washing and a skin check, and have it back on within twenty minutes.
• Check-in: a written report every Sunday by eight in the evening, giving the day count, your skin, tasks done and anything broken.
• Conduct: no tampering with the lock or seal, and no touching beyond washing during a hygiene unlock.
• Tasks: a two-line message each morning, and one written reflection a week of about a hundred words.
• Release: no orgasm during the term; at the review She decides whether the lock continues and what the unlock involves.
• Slips: confess any broken rule in your next report; the agreed penalty is one extra day, never more than two in a term.
• Emergency: unlock at once for numbness, pain, a change of colour, swelling or coldness, without asking; tell Her afterwards, and keep the sealed spare key within reach.
• Review: the Sunday after the term ends, when either of you may keep, change or end the arrangement.

A good rule set is a draft. After each term, keep the rules that ran without effort, rewrite the ones that kept breaking and drop the ones that never mattered, changing one thing at a time, because a longer term, a stricter hygiene schedule and a new daily task together make a different arrangement. Loosen when life asks: illness, travel, sore skin or a punishing week at work are reasons to shorten a term or pause it.

A chastity contract is the same list set out as one dated page that both people keep, with a line saying either of you may end the arrangement at any time. Online it travels as the text of a message, and the slave contract guide covers the wider clauses. It records agreement and nothing more, so strike out any clause that punishes an emergency unlock, puts a price on ending the arrangement or asks for your address, workplace or surname.

With one of DominatrixCam's own Mistresses, keyholding runs on words. Ask by message for a private in which She reads the terms aloud; your camera and microphone stay off and no chat box opens, so you listen and take notes. Afterwards write the terms out and send your copy as a message, so that both of you hold the same text. From then on your reports go to Her as messages, and any answer is Hers to give or not.

Because you hold the keys yourself, the control is a promise rather than a mechanism, and obedience is exactly what you are offering. Two arrangements fit:

• Sealed key: the key sits in an envelope closed with a numbered tamper seal. You message Her the number, and break the seal only for a scheduled hygiene unlock, an emergency or the end of the term, reporting each opening and the number of the new seal.
• Timed container: the key goes inside a container whose lid stays shut until a countdown ends, and She names the countdown in a message. It is a clock rather than a guard, so a separate emergency key stays within your reach.

Never post your only key, and never share a postal address with someone you know only online; neither arrangement above needs one. For the device to be looked at on camera you would have to move to a LiveJasmin partner room marked ↗, where cam2cam is sold as an extra for that site's credits. When She asks for a tribute to hold a term, agree the amount before the lock closes. Private time is billed per minute at Her own rate, and tributes are credited to Her site balance, of which She keeps at least 70%. Start from the chastity tag in the browse view, and read the online keyholder page for remote keyholding more widely.