How to message a Mistress, and be read

There are two written channels on this site, and they suit different things. The first is the chat of a public room. Most public rooms are free to enter, you need to be signed in to type, and whatever you type reaches Her there while She is live. Everybody else in the room sees it too, so it works like speaking aloud in a crowded parlour: brief, respectful and about the moment.

The second is a message sent from Her profile, which lands in Her inbox and waits there until She chooses to read it. This is the place for anything that deserves more than a line: an introduction, a proposal for a private, a list of limits, a report on a task. Nobody else reads it, and She can take her time over it. The text domination page describes how a fully written dynamic is built on this channel.

Keep the two apart in your head. A public chat line is a greeting or a question to a woman who is working in front of an audience. An inbox message is a letter. People who confuse them either write essays into a busy room or fire off one-word notes into an inbox, and both get less attention than they hoped for.

The best moment for a first message is after you have watched Her room for a while. You will know how She speaks, what She enjoys and which rules She has pinned, and a line that shows you noticed is worth more than any amount of flattery. Then choose among three natural times.

• Before a private: send a brief so She can plan the session. A private is one-way, so She cannot ask you anything once it begins; what She knows about you is what She read beforehand.
• After a private: send a short report on what you did and how it landed. Keep it honest and plain, and thank Her once.
• In between: only if She has invited it, or if the dynamic you have agreed calls for a greeting or a log. Unprompted daily notes to a woman who never asked for them become a chore for Her.

Shorter than you think. A message to a Mistress holds up to 2,000 characters, but the limit is a ceiling and not a target. A first message that fits on one screen of a phone is read to the end; a wall of text is skimmed, or left for later and never opened.

A useful rule is three to six sentences for an introduction and a short paragraph for a brief. A report can run longer if She asked for detail, but even then, plain numbered lines are kinder to a tired reader than a single block. If you find yourself writing a second page, you are probably telling Her your life story, and She did not ask for it.

The first message guide gives three worked examples at the right length, in the sub's own words.

Because nothing you say or type can reach Her during a private, the brief does the talking for you. A good one gives Her what She needs to run a session that suits you and nothing She has to sift out.

• A title: how She likes to be addressed, taken from Her profile; if there is none, "Mistress" is always correct, and the guide to addressing a Mistress covers capitals and phrasing.
• What you would like: one theme, in a sentence. Not a menu.
• Your limits: the things you do not want, stated plainly and without apology. A limit is information, and She is better able to be inventive inside a clear boundary.
• Your experience: a line on whether this is new to you, so She can set the pace.
• The practical side: how long you plan to stay and that you have set your own budget.

Courtesy is the whole of the etiquette. Begin with a greeting and Her title, write in full sentences, and keep the capital letters for Her. Say please and thank you without grovelling; there is a difference between deference and a performance of it, and Mistresses can usually tell which one they are reading.

Ask, do not demand. "I would be grateful if You would consider a session on the theme of service" invites a decision. "Do a service session with me" tries to make it for Her. She can decline without giving a reason, and a good reply to a decline is a single line of thanks, or nothing at all.

Resist the urge to be clever or shocking in an opening message. Wit is welcome once She knows you. At first, what She wants to learn is that you can read a profile, follow a rule and take a no, and plain good manners show all three.

Some mistakes close the thread for good. Avoid every one of these, and you are ahead of most who write.

• Anything that is not text. Attachments cannot be sent in a message here, and a request that you or She move to a photo exchange is a warning sign about whoever makes it.
• Your real name, address, phone number, employer or other identifying details. Nothing in a message on this site needs them.
• Repeated nudges. If She has not answered, one short, polite line after a long wait is the most you can reasonably send.
• Demands for a schedule, a daily order or a reply time. Nothing on the site promises these and no Mistress owes them.
• Requests to carry on in another app. Keep the conversation where the site's rules protect both of you.
• Anything that cannot be written in a calm voice: anger, guilt, sulking or a bill for her attention.

She answers when She chooses. Some Mistresses write back within the hour, some in a week, and some seldom write at all and prefer to answer in Her room. None of this is a verdict on you. A reply, when it comes, appears in the same thread, with an unread count on your inbox.

While you wait, do something useful with the time: watch Her next public session, read Her profile again, or draft the report you will want to send after a private. If a long time has passed and you still care to hear from Her, one courteous follow-up is acceptable. The guide to a Mistress who is not replying goes through what to do, and what to leave alone, when the silence lasts.

Some replies carry a price. A Mistress may seal a message behind an amount She sets, or send a payment demand, and you decide whether to unlock or pay. Treat that as you would any offer: take your time, check the figure against your budget and decline politely if it does not suit you.

In a private with one of our own Mistresses, your camera and microphone stay off and there is no chat box, so nothing you write or say reaches Her while it runs. Whatever you want the session to hold must already be in Her hands. That is why the written brief matters more here than on sites that offer two-way chat.

Cam2cam and two-way sound exist only in partner rooms marked with an arrow, on LiveJasmin, as a paid extra bought in credits there. Messages you write on this site do not travel to those performers. To see how the pieces fit, read how cam shows work, and for ideas on what to say in a public room, see the conversation starters guide.